Things have been a bit busy these last months, but just because I have not written a blog post in a while does not mean I have not been writing. I have actually been doing tons of writing both in school and in my journals. My journals devoted to developing the plots, characters, and themes for my novels are gradually filling up, along with my day-to-day journal. I have also been trying to research and read on my own, both fiction and non-fiction, and I have note-taking journals to reflect on what I read. As far as school, I wrote over 300 pages in research essays and reflection papers over the last year. So yes, I have been writing away.

I experienced a severe depression earlier in the summer, but my doctor adjusted my medication and I returned to normal and began to change my eating and lifestyle habits. Gradually I began to lose weight and feel better about my health. Unfortunately I have not been successful in quitting cigarettes and I still smoke over a pack a day, but until I quit (which I hope to have done so in the next two years or sooner), I will focus on getting in better shape and establishing nutritious patterns of eating before I switch my health focus to throwing away the Pall Mall Reds forever. Writing these things down has allowed me to stay motivated to make these important changes.

Writing has helped me greatly in not only my physical health, but also my thinking and emotional health. It has given me the ability to generate my own ideas and utilize the knowledge I learn to strengthen my values and shape my interests, which have grown immensely. It has also put a desire in me to reawaken my childhood curiosity and look at the world in many new ways. My novel development has exploded and I am very excited to begin writing it; overwhelmed, but excited. My mind has been very overwhelmed with the fact that there are so many things I have yet to learn and accomplish. My list of goals grows almost hourly.

In school I wrote essays on everything from the question of what being literate means in society, to the historic and musical analysis of the Leningrad Symphony by Russian composer Shostakovich (one of my personal favorites, a true giant in 20th Century music). In my literature classes, no I didn’t read everything, but my goal is to do so on my own and write on those works as well. I learned a lot of fascinating ideas in Global Contemporary Literature (one of my favorite courses this past spring) and there I was exposed to concepts that I can take to heart and delve into further.

Currently I am reading The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan (the eighth book The Path of Daggers), A New History of Western Philosophy by Anthony Kenny, Things to Come by J. Dwight Pentecost, and I have started George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, Stephen King’s The Shining and The Stand, and Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables, but these I have not gotten far into due to my other reading. I did read Anthem by Ayn Rand, and I loved it. It took me 45 minutes, but it’s really quite short. I know it’s crazy and I myself find it daunting, but I need to finish all of these books and I have about twenty more to read in my room alone. I aspire to have quite the book collection in the near future, so I have started filling my shelves now.

I know this has kind of been a sort of spiel, but I really wanted to write something without composing a ten page entry on my life from the past six months (maybe more). Basically, I wrote, planned, studied, read, and of course spent time with my close friends and drank a lot of coffee. I have lost a good amount of weight, and I have great ambition for the near and distant future, though mixed with apprehension and anxiety. My illness has been mostly dormant, though I sometimes wonder if I am hypomanic. To me, if it causes no distress or danger, then I feel it is okay and important to not focus on whether or not I am having symptoms. I would rather focus on being productive, working, and getting healthy rather than worry if I am having symptoms that are causing no problems for me or others. Though as you can see from this post, I’m a bit scatterbrained, but that’s just me.

In future posts I promise I will be less “all over the place.”