After months of financial struggling, I might finally have a full time job (or at least part-time). A family friend owns a small business and needed someone to come in and occupy the office, answer phone calls, and create invoices while he and his employees were out on jobs.

When I was first asked, I experienced a terrible surge of anxiety. It was sudden, almost unexpected, and in those situations it is hard for me to deal with the changes. There was also strong self-doubt. What if I mess up? What if I cannot learn the office duties fast enough? What if I do something wrong and am unaware of it? I have a fear of disappointing people and I tend to be diffident in my abilities to perform my jobs well, thus the anxiety of job-searching in the first place.

However, after my first four days this week, I am starting to feel a bit better about it. My mom came in and helped me ease into it on the second day, and I am gradually becoming more familiar with everything. It is a wonderful blessing to have the support and the opportunity to get situated and acclimated without being thrown into it all at once.

I am not an employee right now. I am currently just holding down the office and making sure the phone gets answered and everything stays smooth. Someone else comes in and does the bookkeeping, which I will eventually learn to do myself. I am going to need to learn a lot, but as a whole, the job is not as demanding as others might be, and it is an excellent learning experience.

I am thankful to finally be able to make some money and contribute to my family and be able to afford my bills. If I do a good job and am able to keep things up, I might be hired and be able to stay with them. I really do want to impress them, and it has been good for me to come out of my shell bit by bit. I have had the evenings and nights off to myself, which is great. I am happy to be able to help out and do what I can to assist the business.

My family and friends have been tremendously supportive and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them. It seems like the perfect situation for a person like me. Not only do I know the employer, but I can grow accustomed to the job and have the support I need to succeed. And I have plenty of time to read and finish Book One of my novel by mid-November. Right now the business is slow, so I have been bringing my notebooks to write in during the quiet times when I have completed everything that needs to be done for the time being.

Then men who work for them are nice people and I look forward to getting to know them better as well. I hope I can make a good impression on everyone, though that is pressure I am putting on myself. I am already thinking of things I can do to help out in the office as far as using my writing skills and ability to organize information. Those things might come down the line if I end up being asked to stay.

I wanted to share this because while it is a challenge to be immersed in a new environment, I am thrilled to have the opportunity I have to learn and become a part of something productive. As long as I have resources to learn how to do everything to the best of my capability, I think I will enjoy this. I thought that I would mentally collapse, but that hasn’t happened and having people there for me when I need them, people who are understanding and kind, is a great way for me to be introduced into the workforce having been out of it for so long.

This is the best employment possibility I could have asked for. I go back on Monday morning, and while I am still nervous, I am not dreading it and I know that it will be okay as I learn and grow. I hope that this turns into employment and that they allow me to stay with them. It is a blessing that came out of nowhere and I want to seize it with everything I have.

It seems that the sun is breaking through the clouds. At least from my perspective.

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